Not One in a Minion

Is Crumbl’s minion-themed cookie lineup worth the price tag?

If I only had four words to describe last week’s Crumbl line-up, I would say, “Save. Your. Twenty-six. Dollars.” Although I may be breaking the fourth wall here by acknowledging that this is a harsh way to open a review, trust me—I have my reasons.

On Saturday, Sept. 17, I reviewed Crumbl Cookies’ weekly lineup. For those unfamiliar with Crumbl, it’s a cookie-specialized bakery that rose to fame over the past year through TikTok and other social media platforms. Every week, Crumbl releases a lineup of five different cookies—some old and some new—along with its classic chocolate chip cookie.

This week, the popular cookie shop announced its creative lineup dubbed “Minion Week,” which consisted of cookies titled: Dirt Cake ft. Otto, Minion Confetti, Banana Cream Pie, Mooncake and Yellow Sugar. But despite Crumbl’s success with the creative and decorative aspects of the lineup, the cookies failed to make the $26 purchase worth it.

I started with what I hoped to be my favorite, the Banana Cream Pie. We know the minions love bananas, and I do, too, but this cookie was nothing if not a severe disappointment. The pie-filling mixture tasted like bad whipped cream with mushy pieces of banana, and the chilled “crust” of the actual cookie felt undercooked and dry. Considering each cookie costs roughly $5, it wasn’t worth the money.

The next cookie on the chopping block is the Yellow Sugar, a twist on Crumbl’s classic Pink Sugar cookie, except the color pink is substituted for minion-yellow. While it may follow the theme, the cookie just tastes like a mouthful of sugar with a hint of vanilla. I would rather buy a six-pack of sugar cookies from Vons for five dollars, considering I’m getting 6 times as much for the same price and probably better quality.

Moving on to the cookies that weren’t as disappointing, we have Dirt Cake ft. Otto and Minion Confetti. The former is a chocolate cake type cookie with a thick layer of chocolate frosting, and while I loved the actual cookie base itself, the amount of frosting overpowered everything else, ruining its potential to be higher up on the list. The latter is a simple sugar cookie topped with yellow and white sprinkles to match the continuing minion theme, and that’s all there really is to it. Even though the sprinkles enhance the texture of the cookie and put it above the Yellow Sugar , Minion Confetti still fails to make the five dollars per cookie worth it.

And for the final cookie—one that I actually find to be worth the money and calories—is Mooncake. While I didn’t understand its relation to the minion theme, this cookie was crisp on the outside, soft but not undercooked on the inside, and extremely tasty with its delectable almond flavor and filling. A solid 9/10.

This week’s Crumbl lineup continues to demonstrate the company’s creative side and innovative ideas; however, many of its cookies still fail to live up to the hype that is perpetrated online. With each cookie having a price tag of around five dollars, I personally find it way more convenient to purchase a dozen chocolate chip cookies for the same price at a local grocery store.

I want to love Crumbl and its products, but until they step up their quality and taste, I’ll be saving my money. That is, until they release another weird lineup that I can’t resist trying.