In an era dominated by digital connectivity, young adults increasingly explore and form their identities through the lens of social media platforms. The complex interplay between real and digital identities has become a central aspect of teenage development, as exemplified by high school senior Malia Ujiki and her peers.
On a brightly lit Los Angeles night, Ujiki positions herself against the city skyline, gesturing to her friend to capture the perfect snapshot. This is a common occurrence for Ujiki and her friend group, who love to extensively document their outings in carefully planned photoshoots.
“We actually map out the spots we’re going to take photos at,” Ujiki said. “We’ll go through them when we’re done with our day, and choose the 3-4 best ones out of a group of about 100. I think of it as a way of documenting my favorite experiences through [an artistic] lens. The trick is to make them look candid, even though they’re obviously not.”
This “enhanced version” of real life is an idea that could be used to describe most student’s Instagram profiles, chock full of pictures from dances, dates, and family vacations: the highlight reel of the average teenager’s day-to-day. For Ujiki, it’s posting about her fashion and artwork on various accounts across platforms that allows her to show off the parts of herself that she likes best with the world.
“Especially when it comes to my Pinterest account, what I post is mainly for me to look back on, a catalog of outfits to help me experiment more in the future, almost like a scrapbook,” Ujiki said. “When I notice I’ve been repeating outfits, I can look there for inspiration. It’s also nice to have a place to gather inspiration from other creators, and I feel like social media in general has helped my experimentation.”
When posting publicly on sites, which have a commenting feature built in like Pinterest, TikTok and Instagram, it is expected that one will have to deal with trolling and hate comments, especially if a post does well and is boosted by the algorithm. In Ujiki’s case, she’s been free from these types of comments for the most part, albeit still having to deal with the occasional opinionated critic, which she’s learned to “brush off” with ease.
“Everybody has their own style and if people don’t like it, that’s their business, and they can keep scrolling,” Ujiki said. “I don’t really feel ashamed about anything I post, even the most random ‘aesthetic’ pictures, because it’s my account that’s authentic to me and what I love. ”
This positive mindset surrounding social media and the feedback it provides teenagers isn’t so uncommon, despite what worried parents might jump to assume. A 2022 Pew Research Center study on teens and their interactions with the internet disproved the theory that social media does harm to kids, actually finding a link that showed, for a majority of teens, social media had a more helpful than harmful effect. Professional counselor and RUHS alumni Rachel Andrews agrees with these findings, to an extent, noting that, as adolescents develop and explore their identity and interests, social media can provide a much needed “safe place for kids to find themselves.”
“I’ve overheard people saying that my podcast is weird when they think I can’t hear them, but I don’t let that bother me,” Son said. “I’ve come to believe that if I post something and it gets 100 people to think I’m weird, if it uplifts just one person, it was worth it. Finding confidence in my faith and then finding confidence in myself has allowed me to not get caught up in worrying over if I’m seen as ‘cool’ or not. Knowing I’m satisfied with my work is enough.”[/pullquote]“It’s very normal at this age to ask yourself ‘Who am I really?’ so it makes perfect sense that kids would want to wear different hats and try different things out using online personas,” Andrews said. “We have so many LGBTQ students that don’t find acceptance at home, so they create an identity online that can become a source of comfort and safety to them. But of course, the counterpoint to that is that there are really great people in real life that would accept you and love you for who you are, but you’re missing them because you’re always online.”
In more casual instances, such as public Instagram accounts that are directly tied to the user’s “in real life” (IRL) identity, social media can also be used as a tool to help someone cultivate their ideal personal image.
Though being real and genuine might help boost peoples’ confidence, no one is immune from criticism for what they post online. For junior Ian Son, he’s noticed that his Christian podcast, “The Light Podcast,” has been a topic of gossip online and at school.
“I’ve overheard people saying that my podcast is weird when they think I can’t hear them, but I don’t let that bother me,” Son said. “I’ve come to believe that if I post something and it gets 100 people to think I’m weird, if it uplifts just one person, it was worth it. Finding confidence in my faith and then finding confidence in myself has allowed me to not get caught up in worrying over if I’m seen as ‘cool’ or not. Knowing I’m satisfied with my work is enough.”
The divide between using social media in a healthy manner and allowing an online identity to consume someone’s entire life is not a clear line, and one person’s idea of “engaged” could easily be seen as “obsession” by another. For Son, he noticed the grip Instagram had on him lessened after he graduated middle school and stopped “buying into FOMO.”
“I used to look at pictures of big groups of ‘popular kids’ at parties and feel jealous, but I’ve come to realize, as I’ve gotten older, that those things aren’t that enjoyable to me anyway,” Son said. “When you’re online and constantly looking at other people, it can be easy to get caught up thinking ‘I want to be like that, I wish I was there,’ which is why it’s really crucial to stay grounded and remember that you’re not always going to be part of everything, and that’s fine.”
Online identity can be empowering when it enhances your life rather than controlling it, allowing you to express yourself in a healthy way. For Ujiki, playing with this divide between real and internet personas has allowed her to be more talkative, sharing the interests she loves to talk about with a wide audience and without the anxiety of an IRL conversation to hold her down.
“It’s easier for me to talk online and hype people up in their comments, and I’ve been using that as practice to work my way up to giving more compliments to random people in real life,” Ujiki said. “For the most part, I try to make my online presence similar to the me from real life, just a bit more talkative and focused on certain things. It’s authentic to who I want to be, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.”
