Forget the matching pajamas, Hallmark movies, cutesy gingerbread houses, or kissing under the mistletoe. Contrary to popular opinion, “cuffing season”—when single people find someone to date for the winter—is completely manufactured and overrated. In fact, if you are unhappy in a relationship, the holidays are the best time to break up.
Now, I promise I am not a bitter single person (well, not bitter anyways). I have just seen how people bend themselves backwards to get in a relationship or stay in a relationship during this time of year, even to the detriment of their own happiness. The holidays should act as the time to reset and be honest with yourself and your partner—and if you decide breaking up is the right call, then the multitude of holiday activities are the best time to be sad about it.
In a survey by YouGov, an internet data research and analytics group, there was an uptick in the number of people who were more likely to date someone during the winter to avoid loneliness, associated with colder temperatures and earlier sunsets. However this problem is usually not faced by high schoolers who get a whole two weeks off school to spend time with friends and family. Activities like ice skating, strolling through Candy Cane Lane, or baking cookies can be done just as easily with friends as they can with partners. This extra time away from school also gives both parties a chance to reset independently of each other.
Additionally, being single for the holidays means you don’t have to think about getting each other gifts! No more worrying about what to pick, how much to spend, or if you’re even buying each other gifts in the first place. Save your money for yourself! Invest it in a festive manicure, snowflake earrings, an ice cream sundae, an ugly sweater, or even just to pay for gas (it’s rough out here drivers).
Don’t forget about the prevalence of heartwarming comfort food around the holidays either. Whether it’s Starbucks’ Cranberry Bliss Bar (very blissful), a can of chicken noodle soup, or whatever homemade favorites warm your soul, the holidays provide the perfect excuse to cook and bake. When going through a breakup, making food offers both a distraction and produces delicious treats—a win-win in my book.
Winter break allows ample opportunities for alone time to recover as well. I’m a big fan of cozying up under a blanket in pajamas and binging Netflix in general, but the holidays are the time of year when this activity becomes most socially acceptable and unquestioned. And if you’re suffering from heartache, there are a few holiday movies to watch that aren’t about getting hitched during the holidays. Any version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas gets my vote for a funny and perfectly platonic holiday movie to enjoy.
Finally, breaking up from an unhealthy relationship before the new year is a great way to symbolically turn the page (or the calendar) to get a clean slate. New Year’s serves as a time for reflection, and relationships are an important part of what gets reassessed around this time of year. In an interview with VICE Digital, psychologist Novie Duquilla said that “our heightened desire for fresh starts” is “reinforced around New Year’s” and that breakups can serve as this “catalyst for rediscovery, redirection, and reconnection.”
This advice doesn’t just apply to relationships, however. The holidays are the best time to try and address anything that makes you unhappy in your life. And I’m also not saying that everyone should break up during the holidays, because I know lots of happy and healthy couples who should totally make the most of these festivities together. But in light of societal pressures against being single at this time of year, I hope to remind everyone that you are loved and valuable on your own too. Resolving to prioritize your happiness in the new year will go a long way, even if it gets you down in the short term. Luckily, the abundance of great people, tasty food, entertaining activities and overall jolliness will help get you through this otherwise challenging time. So instead of seeking a holiday fling, uncuff yourself from anything and anyone that is bringing you down and start the holidays merrily.
